THE iKiFit BLOG

Active Amy on Keeping it Simple!

Monday, November 09, 2015
Keep it simple, stupid! I was always offended by this saying growing up, because it didn’t sit naturally with my ‘perfectionist’ ‘overachieving’ personality, not to mention being called STUPID!

But as I have grown older and wiser, and certainly since becoming a mum, I am learning why this little saying can make our lives, ironically, so much simpler! Especially when it comes to how we communicate with our children.

In the heat of the moment, when you are ‘liaising’ with your children about the events that have just occurred we can easily run off on a tangent, - words, emotions and somewhat aggressive questions that aren’t meant to be answered, like “What were you thinking? Don’t you ever listen to me? “What do you think your father will think about this?”.

By now, your child has either tuned out completely and is thinking about butterflies or lollipops or the booger stuck up their nose that’s been bugging them… or they are looking at you wondering what they have done so wrong that has caused you to go “crazy”.

A far more effective course of action is to address the problem, head on, using simple, consistent language. For example, your son is playing inside with a ball and it breaks your favourite reading lamp – Move towards your child slowly and with a calm and clear voice say

“Ok, Johnny, stop and look at me…(wait until they are looking at you) ..”good, your eyes show me that you are listening. What you have done was very unsafe, you have broken the lamp, and you could have hurt somebody or yourself. You were also not playing by the rules. Where do we play with the ball?”
Johnny answers “Outside”
“That is correct, and what happens when we don’t play by the rules”
Johnny answers “We have to move away, or there are consequences”.
“That is right, now the consequence is that I am going to put the ball away now and will need to move away and find something else to do, and you are also going to get a warning on your score board. Let’s go and put that on there now, together, then you can help me tidy up this mess”.

There is no mention of anyone being “naughty”, we simply address the poor behaviour choice and highlight the consequence of the child’s actions. The child is not being yelled at, you are not getting flustered, but are remaining calm and confident in your disciplinary action and the issue is quickly addressed.

Your child is secure in the fact that you as their parent have helped them see why you had the original rule of not playing with the ball inside and that when they push a boundary, there is a consequence, everytime. This is a life skill that each child needs to learn if they are going to succeed in life.

The iKi SRL Principles, Family Pledge, iKi SRL Scoreboard, tokens and warnings and comprehensive Positive Behaviour Plan, take the guess work out, giving YOU the confidence to raise happy, healthy, strong, safe, respectful children.

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