THE iKiFit BLOG

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Life Coach and working mum Amy shares her experiences of how iKi helps her meet the challenges of juggling children, partner and career, while striving to be a happy, healthy strong role model. And staying sane!.

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Secularism is fairest for everyone.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

 

Secularize

Did you know that Australia is what’s called a “secular democracy” which means that everyone is equal in the eyes of the law as regards their beliefs – as well as regards their rights and obligations?

To secularize means to ensure the laws we all live under don’t favour one religions’ beliefs over those of another. Secularism promotes freedom OF belief as well as freedom FROM belief. Secularism protects churches at the same time as protecting those who have no interest in churches.

Religion, spiritual values and beliefs are important to our health as individuals and social beings, but history shows that being ruled by religious leaders can be as horrible as being ruled by dictators or tyrants. When those who don’t agree with the rulers are persecuted, tortured, murdered. History also shows that dreadful things can happen when the state persecutes a religious or church group.

Let’s not forget the Inquisition or the Holocaust.

So, what is the point of saying this?

It’s to remind us of the value of what we have as Australians: Imperfect as our political system is, it’s among the best in the world. Our right to have a say in our government -without being persecuted for it.

It’s to remind us of the rule that our government not favour one religion or belief system over another – particularly if it means that one group of peoples’ reasonable rights or opportunities are overlooked or disrespected.

It’s because religion (as well as some ‘ideologies’) can be intolerant of ideas or practises that really should not be anyone’s business but our own. Laws are meant primarily to protect us from others, more from than from ourselves.

I’m a great fan of a guide used by Rotary Clubs called ‘The 4 Way Test’ that they apply to discussions and then to the decision. It’s not hard to see how relevant it is to many of the challenges we face:

The 4 Way Test

  • 1.Is it the TRUTH?
  • 2.Is it FAIR to all concerned?
  • 3.Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
  • 4.Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

It can be difficult to find the balanced, fair answer when there are conflicting views and interests. But using a test like the one above can make it easier, particularly when we start from a place of respecting other peoples’ beliefs, - even when they are quite different to our own.

 

 

 

 


Fair Rules = Safe and Fun for Everyone

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

 

Fair Rules for Everyone.

Some people seem to think the rules don’t apply to them.

Examples are thick on the ground: – the banks and financial institutions recently exposed for doing the dodgy for decades, politicians and big business abusing the privileges that money and power provide. Not to mention our ‘sporting celebrities’ running amok.

If we’re honest, we all bend the rules at times. In fact, working creatively within the rules is considered valid tactics in business, sport and life. So, does it matter?

It’s worth remembering that the “Rule of Law” - regulations and legislation - have helped change human societies from brutal, exploitive feudal systems and dictatorships, where the majority of people were virtual slaves with few rights and little dignity - into to the safe, free and healthy community we are so fortunate to live in.

On the other hand, we all know there is still inequality and injustice and that some of our leaders, and ‘winners” - sports stars, celebrities, CEOs and other ‘successful’ people, are thumbing their noses and ripping us off. They’re not playing by the rules the rest of us abide by. They’re cheating.

Surely, sport stars,-highly paid and admired role models, should actually be REQUIRED to set a good example, rather than behave as the spoilt, entitled brats some are.

Surely, our political leaders, with larger salaries and better privileges, pensions and perks than most of us enjoy, should be proud to serve the best interests of their constituents – and actually DO it.

A friend recently pointed out that most jobs require strict qualifications: specific education levels, specialist training and ongoing updates. Yet many politicians are that only, politicians, with scant business, community or professional skills. And no rigorous ongoing job requirements.

Progress IS being made – the recent NRL decision to suspend players charged with criminal offences and the royal commission into the Banks are positive steps in the right direction. But here’s a thing. Back to our political leaders: - The Politician’s Pledge -more detail next week - that only 8% of Liberal/National politicians have signed. Surely, we can reasonably expect them all to sign – and be held to it? Just as tradespeople and professionals have to keep up their qualifications and do their job properly.

The ‘value’ that Australians treasure above all is the ‘fair go’ and the dream we share with the rest of the planet is wanting our children to grow up in a better world that us. That’s possible so long as we focus on what has gotten us here: Fair laws that apply consistently to all, young and old, rich and poor, famous and ‘average.’Fair laws that are for the benefit of the majority and take into account the consequences for success and failure, honesty and cheating.

iKiMagic - teaching simple, fair rules that everybody can understand, is making a difference in hundreds of school rooms. Fair rules with consistent, empowering consequences, help our children feel safe and confident which in turn helps them thrive and learn.

Have a great week.

 


Compromise and Consequence

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

 

Compromise

My dad was great at negotiating deals, solving conflicts and "finding the middle way". His philosophy was that every deal should have "something for everyone," meaning of course that the best negotiations end with all parties feeling that, while they may not have achieved everything they wanted, they got a ‘fair’ amount and that their needs and beliefs are respected.

The art of compromise, when done with honest intention and genuine good will, can solve most problems.

"Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy"
Phyllis McGinley

"In what we call "real life"--if we want to be successful, if we want to get on in the long-term--we always have to come to some kind of compromise with our own emotions: I can't overreact NOW! I have to accept THIS! I have to ignore THAT!

We're forever having to tailor our emotions to the circumstances; - We go easy on the people we love, we slip into our hundred little daily roles, we juggle, we balance, we weigh things up so as not to jeopardize the entire structure, because we, ourselves have a stake in it."

Daniel Glattauer, Love Virtually. 

 But there ARE times when there is no room for compromise. Mostly, the interests of the majority are best served by making allowances, by compromising. But there are times when we benefit more by applying the rules consistently and fairly. There are times we have to take responsibility for the consequences of our actions.
 

Debate currently rages around 'leaders' in the news for poor behaviour: - sports stars like the Australian Test Cricket trio suspended a year ago for cheating, various NRL players facing criminal charges, through to greedy acts by the banks and financial institutions. 

Rules of respect, safety and and honesty exist for the benefit of all and the only real way to lead is by good example. The rules should be strictly adhered to by our role models and leaders in all fields. Actions always have consequences and we are better off learning to take responsibility sooner rather than later. 

Have a fair week.

 


What Really Matters?

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

 

PRIORITISE.

 There's a little - known saying. "If you have more than 1 priority you have no priority"

On first reading I think that's a bit scary. But it's true. On one level. The idea can be challenging because, well, there's just so much to do!
In the modern world, we want it all - or at least like to have a lot of things 'on the go' at once. Being busy can help us feel productive, important and valued. On the other hand, the outcomes can be patchy - and there's always that nagging feeling that something needs attention. If asked, most of us will say that we multi task effectively - but research show very definitely that it is less efficient than we think.

But seriously. One priority? How can that work?

We all know that our life is made up of many elements, so how do we reconcile them - and still do something really well? The answer begins with perspective. Be clear on what really matters.

For example -Billionaire Jamie Packer was once quoted as saying that he's doing really well in business, but the rest of his life is a disaster.

He's got lots of money but he's miserable because his family life and health are a shambles.

I think this a useful way to establish priorities; - Start with the understanding that some fundamental things are not negotiable. i.e put them beyond priority because they 'go without saying'. These things are family, health and social/spiritual/community values.


For example, looking after your health should be a given. Budgeting a certain amount of time to your health and self- improvement each week isn't a priority, it's an essential.
Similarly, if we don't maintain healthy family and community values anything else will feel shallow and unsatisfying.

It's not simple, but at least it's clear. Look after our physical, mental and spiritual health and THEN establish priorities.

Still confused on what your priorities should be? Here's what the gurus say.

  • “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • “You need to make time for your family no matter what happens in your life" ― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook
  • "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important." ― Stephen R. Covey
  • "It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials." ― Bruce Lee
  • To keep your "fundamentals" right, try the simple and effective "HomeworkGrid" 

Have a balanced week.