THE iKiFit BLOG

Join iKiFit founder, Kim Macrae for thought provoking snippets about education, life choices, self empowerment and reflection, that encourage us to be the best version of ourselves - Every Single Day in lots of little ways! Watch a brief introduction to the blog below

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(Click below to hear iKi Crews Every Single Day excerpt, full version for sale on iTunes).

Life Coach and fulltime working Mum of 3, Amy shares her experiences of how iKi helps her meet the challenges of juggling children, partner and career while striving to be a happy, healthy strong role model. And staying sane!.

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BUY THE 'EVERY SINGLE DAY' SINGLE HERE

Teach our children the boundaries of social existence.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Clear guidelines help build confidence - and competence.

This week I’m excited to be reading the long running best seller “The 12 Rules for Life” by professor Jordan B Peterson.

He says he is surprised by the popularity of the book given that his main message is that we take responsibility for our actions – and teach our children to do the same.

We all benefit from structure in our lives and a key is to teach children boundaries: – remembering that those guidelines, or rules, are there to do two things – to give children (and everyone else) the security to explore, learn and have fun, while protecting them (and ourselves) from the chaos of anti-social behaviour.

It’s about protecting us ‘enough’ that we feel secure to explore and learn and so become competent – but NOT about trying to save us from all possible pain, as that destroys challenge, initiative, fun and resilience.

He says in Rule 5 that our job as parents and teachers is to set boundaries consistently and fairly. To punish when those boundaries are crossed and reward when the boundaries are adhered to. “Clear rules and reasonable discipline matter for the self- secure, psychologically mature and socially developed child”

Some argue that we should protect children from negative emotions as much and for as long as, we can, but Professor Peterson makes the point that negative emotions serve a purpose. “Pain is a signal of what not to do. Anxiety is a signal of things: – situations and people, to avoid. These feelings protect us by teaching us how to operate in this wonderful - but dangerous – world, in order to promote our survival. Preventing our children from experiencing negative emotions can result in more harm because we defer their learning”

“It’s far better to render the beings in our care competent, rather than to “protect” them.

Have a great week. 

Kim.


 


9. Desegregate.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Desegregate

Remember we are all VERY similar at the genetic level. We share 99.9% of our DNA with every other person on the planet. When we mix with others we soon come to see how similar we are, whereas when we remain separate - when we segregate - we can find ourselves focussing on the surface differences.

When we interact with others in an open-minded way we notice two things:

Firstly, that in matters of desires, fears, dreams and life goals we are soooo similar:

Secondly, that those superficial differences can be wonderful, empowering, exciting – think exotic flavours, sounds, fashions, ideas that can spice up our lives.

When we mix with others, coming to understand ‘them’ can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. At the same time, we can be enriched by fresh ways to enjoy food, music, leisure. Life.

So why do so many people want to segregate themselves from ‘others’?

We are designed to be wary of difference – it’s a sort of evolutionary defence. In times past, strangers often WERE dangerous. Now we live in a more connected, multi ethnic, multi-cultural, multi everything world in which, remember, 99.9% of the inhabitants are much like us. They want to be treated nicely and with respect. Just like us.

Remember the “old saying”

“Treat others the way you want to be treated”

Or in the words of the iKi Rulz song

“Treat each other nice today – you will earn respect that way”

Desegregate for a safer, fairer funner world.

Vive la difference.

Kind regards

Kim.


 


8. Don't be late.

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Don’t be late

It’s soooo easy to be late. We've all done it, but have we thought about the impact it has. Some people seem to think it's cool, the thing to do. Some businesses operate as if it's normal - par for the course.

But I’m inclined to believe the research that suggests that some of the ‘little things’ we do can be awful for those on the receiving end - and making people wait is right up there.

When we make an appointment and then arrive late, keeping the other person waiting, are we saying their time doesn’t matter as much as ours? Sure, we had something come up, or we just had to finish that task. But did we consider that the person we were meeting may be as time poor as we are, or have 'important' matters to attend to? Just like us.

That person may not make as much money as us per hour but their time is probably just as valuable to them as ours is to us. Hold ups happen to all of us, but how hard is it to send a text, or call. To show we value their time and them.

If being late is a habit for you and you feel it's time for a change, try these fixes:

Set your watch five minutes fast (or however many minutes you need) and forget that you ever did it. That way, you’ll always be on time and can stop stressing over being the last one at work or to drop your children at school.   And you won’t miss out on the lane you want to swim in, or your favourite car space. Schedule your appointments to finish 5 or 15 minutes before the next one, so you have time to prepare and to be on time. Or just remind yourself that other people matter.

Show the people you are working/playing/living with that you value their time, and them, and have a nicer day.

Kim.


 


Self Care - It needs to be up there!

Friday, March 02, 2018

Hi folks. As we head into the weekend I wanted to touch base with you and ask a question! 

What have you done this week for YOU? What have you done to take care of yourself? 

I've been waiting with baited breathe for the last 5 years for my partner to buy me flowers as a romantic gesture. I've even mentioned in passing the great deals he can get from the flower guy at the local service station. Every Friday when he comes home empty handed I end up feeling deflated, disappointed and even slightly unappreciated. But why? If I want the flowers that bad, why don't I just buy them for myself? 

If flowers mean so much to me, if I feel I have earned them or deserve them, why don't I reward myself? Why should it be up to my partner to buy me flowers? Yes, it can be a romantic gesture, but what I'm learning is that this is not necessarily how he communicates his love or his romantic feelings towards me. He does this in so many other ways. But it leads me to the question: what loving gestures am I making to myself? 

Because as a busy mother of 3 who works full-time, it's really important that I take care of ME. Because there are a lot of people relying on me. 

At first it seems selfish, even a little indulgent. But trust me, once you get into the swing of it: stealing that extra 10 minutes in the shower for yourself, taking an extra 30 minutes to do the grocery shopping, or buying that bunch of flowers for yourself, it can go a long way to maintaining your sense of self. Nurturing and caring for yourself  is good family management. Ultimately it can make you a better parent, not to mention is great role modelling for our children. 

Now, this doesn't negate the need to check in with your partner and throw them a bone every now and then in the romantic department. That can be a topic for another day: "Love Languages" and all that. But for now - for this weekend.. what are you going to do for you? 

I bought my flowers, aren't they lovely!  

iKiMum : )