THE iKiFit BLOG

Join iKiFit founder, Kim Macrae for snippets about education, life choices and self empowerment that encourage us to be the best version of ourselves - Every Single Day! (Click below to hear iKi Crews Every Single Day excerpt. Full version for sale on iTunes).

Life Coach and working mum Amy shares her experiences of how iKi helps her meet the challenges of juggling children, partner and career, while striving to be a happy, healthy strong role model. And staying sane!.

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Education is a great investment.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Educate

I’m going to start this week with a couple of quotes, followed by the results of a research project that make a powerful point.

Somebody older and much wiser than me once told me that “The best investment you can ever make is in education.”

Another person, whom I didn’t take a lot of notice of at the time, said “The main point of formal education is to learn to learn”.

Finally, the results of a recent study:- “6 months after spending a relatively large amount of money (several thousands of dollars) on either a new 'gadget' or an ‘experience’ (holiday, education, activity) the people who invested in the experience reported much higher levels of long term satisfaction”.
Remember, the people who bought the gadgets still had the goods, while the ones who’d invested in the “experience” had nothing material to show for it. But they were happier with their investment.

Why? Because they had grown in skill, confidence, experience. As a result, they were empowered, having learned - or reaffirmed - that the more you do, the more you can do.

And that knowledge improves “quality of life” a whole lot more than material things.

At this point in the discussion let’s consider that education isn’t necessarily about going to school or doing a course, it can include practically any situation where you challenge yourself - travelling to new places, interacting with different people, broadening your horizons. DOING things that involve active engagement, new mindsets and/or some kind of change.

This week, do something educational. Learn something new. It can be as simple as opening a dictionary and looking up a new word, through to embarking on a university degree. It can be as quick as Googling information about a place you’d like to visit, right through to learning the language, planning and going on the trip.

Education isn’t just about facts and figures, it’s about ability and confidence. The knowledge that we can learn, grow, and take control of our lives.

A couple of education themed proverbs to end with.

First for the pupil. “When the student is ready the teacher will appear”

The second for the teacher. “When you teach, you learn”

Finally, for all of us. “Tell me, I forget, show me, I remember, involve me, I understand”

Have an interesting week.

 


Delegation - great for all involved

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Delegating can be good for you - and for them.  .

There's an old saying; "If you want something done properly, do it yourself" There's no doubt that in some cases this is true. However, someone else said; "I have so much to do, that I'm going to bed" Occasionally, life can be so overwhelming, we just want to stop.

Sometimes, doing things yourself is good strategy, while at other times getting help can be smart. If you’re struggling to get everything done it may simply mean you've got too much to do, or that you are trying to do things you don't have the skills or aptitude for. 

It can be good management to bring in specialists who will do the job quickly and efficiently - and there are other reasons and circumstances when delegating is a good choice.

Delegating a job can be a well-deserved reward. An occasional baby-sitter, cleaner, gardener or ironing helper can be a gift from heaven. Then, there are those times when it’s a great idea to get someone else do a task for us because it is empowering for them. If they offer, let them do it. If they don't offer, ask them. Remember the adage, "Give a person a fish and they eat for a day, teach them to fish and they eat for life". 

Sometimes you just have to let go and ask the children or partner to do some of the chores. Great teams are made up of members who play their own part the best they can, as well as helping each other when needed. 

Remember, the key to successful delegation is clear communication. Give enough instructions to make the job achievable and then trust the person you have asked to do it for you. That way they can grow in confidence and ability - and it’s a win-win for everyone.

Have a sharing week

Kim

 

 


Clear Communication Creates Calm Community

Saturday, September 01, 2018

1.Communicate.

No matter how old we are, there are some things we remember clearly from our younger years, while others are a blur.

One of my favourite memories is of sitting in a potato paddock having a break, discussing the world with a couple of mates. We were about 16 years old at the time. I recall we agreed that the world would be a much better place “if we could just communicate”.

But even in our early teens – when we thought we knew so much - we understood that was no simple thing. There are so MANY things to disagree about - with 40 different words for snow, hundreds of models of cars, multiple life choices, not to mention sport, politics and religion. We were the same age and gender, from the same small town, with similar interests, speaking the same language - and we still disagreed on lots of things.

We did agree there was massive room for misunderstandings to arise in the real world. And this was before smart phones, thousands of TV channels and the myriad other new distractions demanding our attention, our loyalty, our time and money. The risk of being misunderstood, misheard or mistaken is now so vast it’s a wonder we agree on anything.

So, with this in mind, this week (and all weeks hereafter) take care – be aware, when communicating. Let’s be clearer when we text. Follow up emails with a call to be sure our intention is clear. When interacting face to face, be mindful of our body language and tone of voice and make the effort to listen to the other persons’ point of view.

Taking a little more care can save a mess of stress by ensuring we’re on the same page. After all, we are in the same story.

Have a great week.

 


Teach our children the boundaries of social existence.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Clear guidelines help build confidence - and competence.

This week I’m excited to be reading the long running best seller “The 12 Rules for Life” by professor Jordan B Peterson.

He says he is surprised by the popularity of the book given that his main message is that we take responsibility for our actions – and teach our children to do the same.

We all benefit from structure in our lives and a key is to teach children boundaries: – remembering that those guidelines, or rules, are there to do two things – to give children (and everyone else) the security to explore, learn and have fun, while protecting them (and ourselves) from the chaos of anti-social behaviour.

It’s about protecting us ‘enough’ that we feel secure to explore and learn and so become competent – but NOT about trying to save us from all possible pain, as that destroys challenge, initiative, fun and resilience.

He says in Rule 5 that our job as parents and teachers is to set boundaries consistently and fairly. To punish when those boundaries are crossed and reward when the boundaries are adhered to. “Clear rules and reasonable discipline matter for the self- secure, psychologically mature and socially developed child”

Some argue that we should protect children from negative emotions as much and for as long as, we can, but Professor Peterson makes the point that negative emotions serve a purpose. “Pain is a signal of what not to do. Anxiety is a signal of things: – situations and people, to avoid. These feelings protect us by teaching us how to operate in this wonderful - but dangerous – world, in order to promote our survival. Preventing our children from experiencing negative emotions can result in more harm because we defer their learning”

“It’s far better to render the beings in our care competent, rather than to “protect” them.

Have a great week. 

Kim.


 


Self Care - It needs to be up there!

Friday, March 02, 2018

Hi folks. As we head into the weekend I wanted to touch base with you and ask a question! 

What have you done this week for YOU? What have you done to take care of yourself? 

I've been waiting with baited breathe for the last 5 years for my partner to buy me flowers as a romantic gesture. I've even mentioned in passing the great deals he can get from the flower guy at the local service station. Every Friday when he comes home empty handed I end up feeling deflated, disappointed and even slightly unappreciated. But why? If I want the flowers that bad, why don't I just buy them for myself? 

If flowers mean so much to me, if I feel I have earned them or deserve them, why don't I reward myself? Why should it be up to my partner to buy me flowers? Yes, it can be a romantic gesture, but what I'm learning is that this is not necessarily how he communicates his love or his romantic feelings towards me. He does this in so many other ways. But it leads me to the question: what loving gestures am I making to myself? 

Because as a busy mother of 3 who works full-time, it's really important that I take care of ME. Because there are a lot of people relying on me. 

At first it seems selfish, even a little indulgent. But trust me, once you get into the swing of it: stealing that extra 10 minutes in the shower for yourself, taking an extra 30 minutes to do the grocery shopping, or buying that bunch of flowers for yourself, it can go a long way to maintaining your sense of self. Nurturing and caring for yourself  is good family management. Ultimately it can make you a better parent, not to mention is great role modelling for our children. 

Now, this doesn't negate the need to check in with your partner and throw them a bone every now and then in the romantic department. That can be a topic for another day: "Love Languages" and all that. But for now - for this weekend.. what are you going to do for you? 

I bought my flowers, aren't they lovely!  

iKiMum : ) 

 


Learning resilience.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Resilience is a matter of habit

Firstly, a big thanks to my regular readers. As you’re aware, each weeks’ blog is around a word from the song “Every Single Day” which mentions some of the many ways we can make each day a little better.

In this weeks’ blog I’m taking a break from that format but sticking to the theme.

I’ve just finished reading Joe Williams’ new book “Defying the Enemy Within” and was amazed at the number of great adjectives that can be applied to it.

The book is a great read, fast paced and engrossing. Joe outlines his childhood with humor and humility and shares the excitement, the ups and downs of his impressive sporting career. He is articulate, honest and humble.

He deals with his substance abuse and mental health issues openly and bravely and takes us on an involving journey to where he is now – making a powerful, positive contribution to all Australians. His advice on how he stays positive, healthy and highly functional is clear, inspirational and truly helpful.

His comments that the Australian nation as a whole can learn much from the First Nations, if we will just listen, is visionary and timely.

Great job Joe. I’m proud to be a friend and fellow Australian.

Kim


 


Welcome to 2018!

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

I hope you have had a relaxing, re-energising break and are excited about the year ahead.

Traditionally, this is the time of the year for revising our priorities and resetting our goals – or to use the old-fashioned phrase, for making New Years’ Resolutions. While the phrase may be ‘old hat’, the idea is sound – that we take a break and re-prioritise.

Normally, New Years’ resolutions cover things like doing more exercise, eating better, spending more quality time and so on – and traditionally they don’t last past the second week of February.
But like most things, there are ways to make resolutions stick. The trick is to find what works for YOU.

I’ve found that the best “resolution keeping tool” is to continually monitor my attitude, and to remind myself, when necessary, that ‘It’s up to me”

 


 
When we blame others for our problems, shortcomings or disappointments we cancel any chance of personal growth. To work, a resolution has to be practised and reaffirmed regularly, so please try this with me: Let’s remind ourselves daily that what happens to us – how happy healthy, strong and successful we are, is up to US alone. Yes, things outside our control occur all the time, but the attitude we take and the choices we make, determine what happens next.

Let’s keep at least one New Years’ Resolution this year. Let’s say to ourselves every day: It’s up to me.

Happy 2018.

Kim.


Happy Holiday Season

Thursday, December 21, 2017

 

The final run up to Christmas is just what we’ve come to expect: Summer has arrived with a furnace blast, we’re in a mad rush to get everything finished in time for the big day and if things can go wrong they have. If we’re lucky enough to get time to reflect it can be easy to wonder: Does Christmas herald a time of fellowship, good cheer, love and family – or is it a commercial orgy of anxiety, consumption and manic stress?

It’s like most things in life – it all depends on how we look at it. What we choose to focus on. Yes, this time of year can be a “crazy busy’ rush to get everything done. Stress, struggle strain. Or it can be a satisfying time of putting a full stop on the year, tidying up loose ends, being grateful for the good things that have happened and the people who have enriched our lives.

I must admit, there were times in years past when the greenie, pinko whinger in me ranted about the “capitalist excess” the fake “peace on earth” and the silly stress. But I’ve learned to get over myself and focus on the wonderful elements of Christmas: the commencement of Summer break, celebrations with family and friends, time to spend on gratitude, catching up and rest. I know of many friends and acquaintances who are going through awful health and life challenges at the moment. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the very best – luck, health and love.
Also, a huge thank you to the many people who have supported, worked with and encouraged myself and iKi.
There are so many wonderful people in my world. Thank you.

Best wishes to everyone for the New Year - the time to celebrate that most fantastic of all human abilities – HOPE.



Next year will bring endings, as well as beginnings. No doubt 2018 will have its’ challenges and some bad things will happen. That’s life and always has been, but opportunities will arise, and great things will happen as well. Things will happen that are beyond our control - but our attitude and actions will determine what comes next.

I’ve learned to regularly remind myself how very fortunate we are to live in this place and time. Even 20 years ago, many health conditions were untreatable that are now routinely beaten. Opportunities are endless and most of us live in safety and comfort. We can find much to complain about if we try but our system works, most of the time. We live in a crazy world and some Aussies have it tough, but speaking for myself, I think most of us are SO lucky.

And we have hope.

I’m taking a break and will return in mid January. See you next year.

Happy hopeful holiday,
Kim.

 


Be Persistent - Never Give Up!

Thursday, November 30, 2017

 

There is a ‘saying’ in real estate that there are 3 key ingredients to success; Position, position, position.
In achieving goals there are three as well. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

The Battle of Britain ranks as one of the great stories of beating the odds. The British Air Force were outnumbered by more than 3 to 1, yet they beat off their attackers. That historic victory was led by Winston Churchill, Prime Minister at the time, who said - “We will never, never, never, give up”

I remember years ago the world was shocked when it was revealed from private diaries that Mother Teresa suffered lifelong attacks of doubt. We shouldn’t have been surprised, as she was human like the rest of us. We all suffer doubt and fears sometimes.

Recently I was at a point where I needed a boost and happened on this poem in Paul Hanna’s book “You can do it”
I liked it so much I printed it out and read it regularly. I hope you like it too.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must but don’t you quit

Life is strange with its’ twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a person turns about
When they might have won had they stuck it out
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another go
 
Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering person
Often the struggler has given up
When they might have captured the victors cup
And they learned too late when the night came down
How close they were to the golden crown
 
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit-
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
 
Remember, success is a journey, not a destination.
Kim

 


Look, Listen - put that technology down!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

 

Recently I was doing some additional hours from home on an urgent work project and was frantically juggling my work hat, domestic hat, wife hat and mum hat, all the while with a deadline looming over my head.

I had set Mr. 3 up in the lounge-room near me, around me, just not on me! - to play happily on the floor whilst I kept plugging away at my work.

Every now and then he would come up and show me the latest masterpiece he had built with his bright coloured bricks. Each time, only a few bricks differed from the previous sample.

Over a period of half an hour I obviously got a bit less enthusiastic with my responses of "Wow, aren't you clever, can you build something even bigger for Mummy" or "Cool, Buddy you are such a big boy being able to build that all by yourself" - or at least they must not have been to an acceptable standard, as suddenly Mr 3 was sitting up on top of me, squishing my face in his hands and pulling my head towards him.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him, trying to breathe and not lose my temper, as the 'deadline pressure' washed over my whole body.

With my squished face like a ball of play dough in his chubby little hands, he eye balled me and in his most 'teacher-like' voice said "Mummy, Look, Listen & Learn Mummy. You not listen to me Mummy".

I said "I'm sorry darling, Mummy has been busy doing my work and you have been such a good boy playing by yourself while I do that. Why did you say I need to 'Look, Listen & Learn?"

Mr 3 said "I was talking a you and you not looking at me, you not listen to me Mummy. I love you this much (stretching his arms out wide) BUT you need to listen to me and look at me when I tell you".

NOW - Firstly can I just point out - how early the iKi Rulz stick for a child when embedded from an early age (both at home and at long day care - I can't take all the credit). Secondly, how brilliant that my Mr 3 understands how to apply them, and to voice how my behaviour is making him feel.

SO - What do we learn from this? It's like the saying goes "Do as I say, not as I do" Except not, it's "Do as I say and as I do" If we expect our children to grow into the happy, healthy, strong, respectful, contributing members of society we so want them to be - then we need to show them what that looks like. Because they ARE watching and they ARE listening! And they ARE learning all the time!!

When we ask our children to look at us when we are speaking to them, if we expect them to not continue playing their technology, then we must do the same. If we ask our children to use their inside voices and use words not actions to describe how they are feeling, then we must do the same. If we want our children to grow up to respect themselves, their siblings, their neighbours - then we must do the same.
So, in case you need some help with the basics, like I did (thanks Mr 3 for the shake up) - here is a little reminder:

1. Look, Listen, Learn - look and listen and you will learn and allow others to learn also.
2. I'm Ok, You're Ok - treat others the way you wish to be treated.
3. No Play, No Play - if you don't play by the rules there may be consequences.
4. Eat Well, Live Well - eat a healthy, balanced, nutritious diet and you will live a happy healthy life.
 
To get some help implementing these core life values into your home and get the whole family working as a Happy, Healthy, Strong
Team - why not sign up for an online membership - find out more by clicking here

 

Enjoy your week, Active Aspiring Amy.